a river pebble for my soul

I received a compliment.
A compliment.
4 words,
that the totality
of my everyday existence
never-endingly twists itself towards.
Reaching and losing,
confusing and misleading,
most of all deluding,
just for those 4 words.

treating them preciously.
petting them continuously.
so much that they became perfect and smooth,
like a river pebble.
smothering it,
and kissing it,
whilst hating myself for it.

Yet in those moments,
there was no fear.
Or, at least there was no trying
to escape.
With thought processes clear.
sitting here,
chuckling with myself.
Transparent.

But.
The next day I awoke,
and it was gone,
This perfect pebble given to me,
with the place it filled empty.
And so,

I ran away again.